There is a certain beauty about being from the South, one of which is the many metaphors we use in everyday conversation. For instance down here, Momma offering to  “paint your back porch red” is not free labor.  It means you are walking the fine line of feeling the hot sting of a hand on your thigh because you have done something wrong.  Someone asking if you would like to “come sit a spell” is not an offer for an impromptu spelling bee.  It is more of a “come sit down for a bit and let’s talk about that time the girl drove her Daddy’s lawnmower into the swimmin’ pool.”  PS, that girl was me…   

Now here is the kicker, what happens when you have a child that takes everything seriously??  How do you get mad when you ask her to “throw that away” and then she launches a yogurt across the room?  Answer: you don’t.  You learn to explain that she needs to put her treat into the trashcan and until she figures it out, she hears Momma talking to “Deer Lord”….. ALL.THE.TIME!!

What I say, “Oh! Dear Lord help me.  Today might actually be the day I lose it!” I am not referring to a woodland creature. If I trip over one more Lego or mindlessly discarded cup or bowl, I am not asking for help from antlers. However, a little literal mind will certainly have her own ideas..

“DEER LORD!!!! I bet his antlers have glitter!!!”