Hey there, beautiful people! Sorry I have been MIA a bit this past week. I have been dealing with a stubborn kidney stone, but I had a procedure today to bust it up and am happy to admit that I am feeling much better!

Fun fact about me, I have always had a desire to write a book. I mean if every type of celebrity can do it, darn it I can too! I get ideas and jot them down in hopes that one day I will connect with one and the rest will be history. My current phone is slowly dying on me and as I’m going through everything on it, I came across my “brain dump” and instantly words started swirling around my head. While this note isn’t enough to pour into a novel, it sparked a flame that I cannot seem to put out. What is it?

Adult friendships are hard.

There are many different types of friends to be had other than just good or bad. There is a difference in being a friend and being friendly. You can be friendly with any and every one but not everyone is meant to be your friend. Once we can accept that fact we should be able to distinguish which is which. But warning, it isn’t easy.

Finding great friends as we grow older is work. Hard work. We are past the days of simple lives and childhood is a mere memory. As kids, we had one main priority and that was to have fun. Kids make friends easily because there is no baggage. They haven’t been hurt before and don’t heavily guard their little hearts to dip a toe into relationships. It is a full on cannonball. No reservations. No fear. No qualms about it. Humble. Innocent. Trusting.

Shouldn’t we seek out others in a childlike quest even as we are older? Absolutely! However adult friendships are tough. We are at the point in our lives where death, divorce, depression, children, and financial stress are involved. We have to deal with the overwhelming pressures of society and literal life and death situations. Friendships should be carefully cultivated so they take on a life of their own that ebbs and flows. They build trust through experience and love grows. Adult friendships can be a beautiful thing, but sometimes they just don’t work out and that is ok! Once we have carved a place in our hearts for a friend there will always be a little void where there was room to grow together before we fell apart. Perhaps that empty space is there for a second chance down the road, or maybe it stays forever as a reminder of what went wrong. Either way, it was worth it and we should honor the happy memories and remember them fondly. Some people come into our lives solely to teach us a lesson.

There is a distinct “fight or flight” instinct that comes with adult friendships. Often times one of you will have a major life event that consumes your soul to the point where you can’t pour love into others. This is the time where someone either steps up and shows their commitment to you or they back away because your problems are too much for them. It is through the major life circumstances that you either build a strong relationship or the foundation begins to crack and crumble. We all NEED these people in our lives to lean on, and we also need to be that person for them. It takes work, hard work, to balance the give and take. It also means leaning on each other for support when you can’t stand on your own. It’s not easy, but sister it is vital.

There will be many things in life that will try to pull you apart. There will be rumors and others who’s intentions are not in your best interest. But here is the beauty of a true friend. A true friend will know you better than to believe what they hear and they will defend you till the end. These people will be the family that you get to chose for yourself and the hard times will be easier because they are behind you 100%. They will catch you when you fall.

My beautiful friend Emily and I have a little saying that once a zebra shows their stripes, they will always be a zebra. Someone shouldn’t have to tell you that they are a good person, you should be able to see clearly who they are. Actions truly speak louder than words and to be perfectly honest, anyone who has to brag about being a good person should be a giant red flag. A zebra can cover itself and say it is a black stallion all it wants, but the paint will wear off and his stripes will be there for all to see. Once someone shows you their stripes, they can never fully hide their true self again. As I said earlier, not all people are meant to be your “person.”

We will all be the bad person at times. It’s human nature to mess up. How we handle these situations is what makes our character. Learn from your mistakes and apologize when you need to. Fill your life with grace. Work for your relationships and pour love into them. Be there when someone needs you, or you will be on your own when you need someone yourself. Throw grace around like confetti and seek friendship with a childlike heart.

Just remember, there is a difference in being friendly and being a true friend. Be friendly to everyone and cultivate the life you want with your friends. Put in the work. Learn from your mistakes. Cherish those you love and be thankful for all of life’s experiences. Forgive, but don’t forget actions that break your heart. That thing is precious and should be treated with care.

-C

Y’all may have to bear with my long windedness (sure, that’s a word) here… but I have strong feelings and they need to come out.

Growing up in the South, there are a few things we love. One may automatically think sweet tea and biscuits but today we are talking about another part of our soul… BBQ. If your mind goes to a grill and burgers… get outta here. That’s grilling. Go find a chain that has shenanigans on the wall or commercials about having “the meats.” You are not worthy. Just kidding, but seriously bless your heart.

We have been searching for years to find a spot with amazing BBQ. Some have been ok, some have had decent pork, and some have just been downright soul crushing. Today my soul has been refreshed and BBQ has been redeemed! Praise the Lard! Where may you ask? A little place in Athens, Ga called Pulaski Heights BBQ. We have been eyeballing this place for a while but our kids are pretty much generic food snobs. If it’s not a cheeseburger and fries… they ruin our joy. Today we had time for a lunch date and I don’t think we really talked about anything other than the food. It was that good.

First impression, honestly made me a bit nervous because it seemed “too nice” to be good. You know what I mean if you have ever entered a joint where a screen door slams behind you and it just felt right. However, I then noticed a guy bring a white Kitchen Aid mixer out to the bar and knew something good was going to happen. Behind him, containers of sauce that was far from coming out of a box with a bar code. There was pride. There was sweat. There was experience. There was gold. Carolina Gold to be exact (one of their 4 sauces housed in glass bottles with hand written labels like you are part of a great experiment.) There was also a Kool Aid flavor of the day. Oh, yeah.

We decided to go for the ultimate test. We tried the things that are hard to master and easy to mess up. We shared a combo of pulled pork and brisket with some collards and mac & cheese. We practically licked the paper off of the metal trays.

First off, let’s visit the Mac. Solid side choice. Cheesy, creamy, not from a box and doesn’t tase like a block of processed cheese. Good. Comforting. Solid back up dancer to the meaty stars.

Next, collard greens. Folks, these are not something you just want to eat in hopes of riches in the coming year. They had flavor! The consistency was in itself money and they needed no extra pizazz- or even salt. However, being the sauce queen that I am I could not resist pouring on a little of their carefully crafted Spicy Vinegar sauce. In the vast world of culinary ideas- this was an excellent choice. Basically, just shut up and do it.

Now the stars. The meats! There are knives in their silverware, but I am really not sure why. The pulled pork is the perfect combination of bark and bite. Exactly what one would want in Dawg Country. Not dry or fatty, doesn’t even NEED sauce. You will WANT sauce though. It’s good stuffs. The brisket looked like a dream. A Smokey bark encrusted dream that I didn’t want to end. Cut so perfectly that you are better off tearing in like a bear because a fork takes too long. It took a long time to find, but this was worth the wait. This is a relationship that needs to last, Pulaski Heights is no one night stand. You will walk out that door with pride and accomplishment, sauce stains included.

This is the Homecoming Queen of smoked meats. You respect her.

Speaking of sauce stains, here is the line up that PHBBQ offers. I basically ended up mixing them all together in a hodgepodge tastebud tingling tincture. The Asian sauce made me wish I had a big, slurpy bowl of noodles- which I noticed is one of their daily specials. Count us in!

I could go on, but I don’t want to keep you from greatness any longer. You deserve more from your day- go get it! After all when they sell out, they slap a sign up and head home!

Cheers, Pulaski Heights BBQ! You deserve to be celebrated!

-C

PS. Practice this pose for plate protection and don’t be afraid to horse collar (or your preferred personal foul) anyone who tries to take your victory. The world is negative enough as it is.

Raise your hands if your kids LOVE spaghetti, but the mortgage payers are tired of it being on the weekly rotation. If you are feeling a breeze in your pits, this one’s for you!

George’s favorite part of spaghetti night is the “spaghetti bread.” In our house this is typically leftover hamburger or hotdog buns baked with garlic butter. Abbey, on the other hand, loves the pasta but has recently found a slight obsession with meatballs. This quick, easy, and cheap meal makes everyone happy and has the husband asking to have them more often. Win Win Win.

Ok, here is what all you will need and it rings in at Aldi for around $9 including a bag of chips! Have a big family or hungry guests? Grab another pack of hoagie rolls and you are still around $12. Can’t beat it!!

I only have a half block of mozzarella pictured because I used the other half for our last round. There are a bunch of meatballs in the bag, but you only need 4 per boat. We go ahead and cook them all because they make great after school snacks. But seriously, this is what is leftover after putting 6 boats in to bake.

Ok. So now how to put them together. Turn your oven on to 350 and dump the frozen meatballs on a pan with some foil for easy cleanup. After they go in, put your hoagie rolls on another foil lined pan. Why the foil? Nobody likes scrubbing pans.

Using a paring knife, cut rectangles into the tops of your hoagies. Smash the rectangle down and pinch the sides to make your boats like so.

Melt a couple of tablespoons of butter in a bowl and put as much garlic and Italian seasoning as you want. I use unsalted butter so a pinch of salt may be needed. Brush your boats with the garlic butter and pop them in the oven while your meatballs finish up.

Now the fun part! Spoon a little sauce in the bottom of each, and then add 4 meatballs to each. This is a fun task for kids as well, and also a great fine motor exercise…. teacher at heart.

Now add a little bit more sauce, pile on some mozzarella, and sprinkle with a little more Italian Seasoning. Back in the oven to get melty and you are good to go!

Let me know how you and your hungry crew like them! Eat up and be happy!

-C